Finally getting back to brigits_flame after over a year! WELL THANK YOU BASIC TRAINING! Now I'm back to participate in the December contest. The prompt for week 1 was "Cue" and as I read some relative terms, I was instantly reminded of this video by Natalie Merchant. Great song, great video, great inspiration. Hopefully great enough writing to get me to week 2 :)

Title: The Masquerade
Prompt: Cue
Community: brigits_flame
Length: 1243
Author's Notes: Have I been blind? Have I been lost inside myself and my own mind?


( The Masquerade )

During the early 1990's, California experienced some of the craziest and harshest weather I can recall in the state during my lifetime. For three years straight there was flooding in Northern Cali as well as flash floods and mudslides in Southern Cali. For the record, SoCal gets this semi-regularly, but NorCal not so much. As I recall, this was when the el niño discussions really made the news. During one of those years, in a nice little house in a small town called Orangevale, a brother and sister had been left with their father for a weekend as their grandparents --the people who raised them-- were on a cruise to Alaska in celebration of their wedding anniversary.

The power was out for nearly a week and the torrents of rain never ceased. It fell and fell and some fell inside due to rusted turn-handle windows. I recently joined brigits_flame and the first week of October has the following prompt: the story must begin with 'There it goes.'

Here is a completely fictitious account of how it went that week:

( The Darkest Night )

If you've got flickr, add me.

All right... this time we vote on my uber self-portraits! I've given them names and links so it'll be easier haha.

Racket in Green
Black & White
The Explorer
Draenei David
Watching F1
Chinese Girlfriend
The Looking Bottle

Poll #1270110
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 5

1st fav

2nd fav

3rd fav

Stoled from pwned_kisa

* Put your music player on random.
* Post the first line from the first 32 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
* Let everyone guess what song and artist the lines come from.
* Bold the songs when someone guesses correctly.
* Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!
* Skip instrumentals, foreign languag. Ce songs, songs where the title is the first line.

(MOST of my music did not make this list because it's on my incapacitated desktop *sadface* so I'm using my iPod instead of my laptop. Comments are screened so everyone can guess any of them!)

1. how did you do it, how did you make me fall for you so badly
2. baby baby won't you give me a chance. i know you're watching and i just can't dance
3. I made a list, wrote down from A to Z all the ways I thought that you could best use me
4. [ed note: *laugh*] california knows how to party. In the city. LA.
5. they laugh, because they see i live, for more than me they point their fingers
6. if it's been just one of those days for you like it's been just one of those days for me
7. I wanted, to be like you, i wanted everything.
8. I'm like Thomas doubting, fingers, routing the stars
9. Everybody needs somebody to rely on, to rely on
10. [ed note: *dances*] confidence is a must, cockiness is a plus, edginess is a rush
11. Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me
12. Thursday's crush is a Friday night rush and a Monday morning cry
13. Contemplating every day wondering if I'm wasting, all of my time
14. every time you walk away, there's so many things I like to say
15. it's only been a week, the rush of being home rapid fading
16. Too small to come in. Exploding with a sunshock...
17. I just want to thank you, for finding me. And how could I forget you, and all you've done for me?
18. don't you know that when you touch me baby that it's torture
19. Will you take what we have? A sacrifice unto You
20. Love is blind, as far as the eye can see.
21. This farm has been misunderstood. Yeah the dreams we build are payin' for kingdoms
22. Mom and Dad I'm fine how are you? I've joined a small circus, that much is true
23. I open my heart embracing your change on you I fix my gaze
24. On my own, on the wind, a moment ends and one begins
25. Just on kiss on my lips was all it took to seal the future
26. You keep sayin' you've got something for me
27. [ed note: get this i LOVE you] she's in it know she go across the glob, breakin hearts in each city every where that she goes
28. read about this guy once, he seemed to own the earth
29. I know there's something in the wake of your smile, I get a notion from the look in your eyes
30. I'm just a girl with the ability to drive a man crazy
31. Mystery's walkin on my head again, in a pattern figure eight.
32. As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I take a look at my life and realize there's nothin left.

Heya! So I'd really really like it if you all took a look at these 7 pictures I've uploaded for Daily Life, and tell me which one you like best, second and third best. :)

This poll is for the Daily Life pictures. These are not the pictures of me! :)

Poll #1268201
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 10

Your favorite?

Second favorite?

Third favorite?

Sufficiently thing, however because of the kind of fire which is not worried directly in order to bring sufficiently close trouble, this week haze and directly it is one of the sky of the smoke. Fortunate my I everyday am in just 3 hour my bicycles.

Therefore I am put at the campus outside the building of the auditorium, now exactly. Similar to the point of my usual investigation, the Guangdong class a certain thing happens in A.

I don' The air which we would like to investigate does t. Then it goes in a7 door which I the running air which would like to sit down here do to the electric battery, am locked and waiting.

Then that I would like to go in, that you think, in order my usual place and in order to sit down in me for class to keep depending directly, you want, think. As for that or I am irritated to that or or I don' We want ending, thing me with that, we are not; As for t that I do the between preparation of tomorrow exactly, we would like there to be here where it means that therefore I may go out with riding in a car of the bicycle. If I have remembered that just, it is my first riding in a car my own for 2008. Meaning is formed, really, with such reason me first like the week tomato I suppose that it is visible. Because structure are approximately 30 yards, the building of A really really the [gu] in any case in the 挨 [ri] being lazy

…Inside. In addition because of the fire smell designates that really as the smoke. As for the air you see in the 挨 [ri] being lazy and the smoke. The sunlight of my socks makes at contact red the socks look where I am white exactly, (similar to my shoes,).

Bah.

Challenge 1-Wicked: Miss Emma's Diamond - 3rd Place
Challenge 2-Out of Bounds: The Cargo
Challenge 3-Taxi: Angel Love
Challenge 4-Personal Ad: LF Mom and Dad
Challenge 5-Lunatic: The Suicide Note
Challenge 11-Picky Picky: Let's Dance - 2nd Place
Challenge 12-1000 Words: The Picture
Challenge 13-Redux: The Cards - 2nd Place
Challenge 14-Fact vs. Fiction: Water
Challenge 16-Fire!: Apple Tree
Challenge 18-Not As They Seem: Judge Not
Challenge 24-5 Elements: Marilea vs. the Volcano

I visited my dad, gpa and sis today. I was strumming my dad's guitar and he walked by.

"This is what makes me mad, David..." He looked at me, I looked at him and continued to pick at a C chord. "You have a gift." Picked a D chord. "A God-given gift..." I stopped. "...And you don't..."

"He gave me a lot, dad. What am I supposed to do? There's no way... I can't be perfect at everything!"

"Try harder."

If I may, briefly, have an ego.

If I strove for perfection in every talent I am capable of being leet in, there wouldn't be enough hours in the day to keep up with them all. Not that I'm super perfect at everything, it's just that some things happen to have multiple facets to them. For instance, I can play music with little effort. Does that mean I should play every instrument just because I have the ability to do so? I can write. Does that mean I should write in all styles of poetry, prose and screenwriting? What about speeches? I do great essays, does that mean I should write speeches, too? Foreign languages are easy for me. Does that mean I should learn them all?

My punishment as a child was coding. I kid you not, when I was five and I got in trouble, I was punished by being forced to learn BASIC. My electronics teacher in high school once told me to stop working on a "test" so I could figure out what was wrong with a classmate's code. o.O I had a story published in 1st grade, simply because I was capable of processing and presenting thoughts that jr. high students (and some college students!) have problems with.

Where does it end? Can't I just decide what I want to do in life and work towards that? How would it even be possible to reach my "potential" in all areas of my life when that simply isn't humanly possible?

I relate this to all of you who have a talent. If you can write one thing, you can probably write everything. If you can learn a language easily, you can learn all of them. Where would it stop for you? Nobody, I mean nobody can possibly max their potential in every arena.

For you gamers, think of it this way: Life only has so many skill points to spend...

Well, I know I haven't really updated school much since semester started. I just got back my first essay from my English Lit 321 class. I'd written about Sui Sin Far's story "Mrs. Spring Fragrance" and how it shows the interaction of American vs. Chinese cultures. I am happy to say I got a 97%! This is the highest initial grade I have recieved for any class at any time that I can recall...ever. The next highest came one year ago when I recieved a 95% on my essay on William Faulkner's Barn Burning, in which I set out to prove Abner Snopes was a heroic character.

I also just turned in my reader review of Robert Frost. My professor sort of laughed when she realized what I'd handed her: a poem. I wrote it in about 10 minutes this morning. With this in mind, I asked permission to attempt to write my entire second essay in poem. I am going to have to spend a lot of time on it, as it will need to actually be an introspective look at one of the works we have read for class. The reader review was merely a playful attempt to see whether or not it was even possible.

My professor has seen both essays I've mentioned in this post. She said "you've got essays down," when I asked for consideration. The problem that she sees, the one I see as well, is how to write an in depth essay as a poem. This will be tricky, but I really want to stretch my writing muscles on this.

I have to see what I can do.

( Frost reader review )

Wesley asked me: "Why are you helping me?! Considering everything that has happened you should be royally pissed!"

Frustrated? Sure. Pissed? Nah.

I am somewhat reminded of a letter once written by N. Toyl. Mr. N. Toyl had flirted with a girl for awhile. There were stolen glances, moonlight dances, yet it was clear that his dearest Akacia loved another. Was N. Toyl upset with the other man? No. In fact, the end of his letter read, and I will paraphrase: One day there will be a man writing a letter to the one he loves, acknowledging that I was the 'better man'.

I can't be angry with the other guy if he plays fair. If it's a fair game and I lose, then I lose. There is no reason for me to hold a grudge against someone who simply won. It is not really a competition, despite everyone telling me I should 'fight'. All the same, someone will choose me.

P.S. I am quite certain that N. Toyl has a brother who goes by I. Toyl. Has anyone heard anything of him?

...

with my chin resting on my left hand, using only my right hand for typing. This also includes the necessary time to look at the screen to see what I am typing.

I want to facedesk. If my desk was clean and I could be assured it wouldn't hurt, I would facedesk. Then I would facedesk again. After that, I would facedesk again. Oh, and I'd facedesk one more time, just to make sure.

It's been twenty-one days since I posted about Annie, though in a far more articulate piece of writing than I can concoct after my most recent night. You see, I eventually grew tired of her inability to tell me the truth about anything, and I finally said nuts to it. I deleted my friendster account, then I deleted everyone off YM, then... for good measure... (since I ought've done so in the first place) I cancelled my membership to the website I'd met her and her cousin.

Then I made new accounts, added everyone back, apologized for being nuts, and asked for forgiveness. In about four days, she contacted me and told me she had forgiven me. We still were semi-quasi-kinda-sorta togetherish at the time, until Valentine's Day. You see, it was 1am on Valentines Day, for me at least, when Sheryl, Annie's cousin, informed me everyone would go out and "get drunk because we are single." So the entire complicated business was out the window, there it was plain and crystal.

I sent Annie another message. This time I didn't delete my FS or delete anyone from YM. I merely told her I was tired of being played for some naive little idiot (though I was certainly acting like one). I informed her I didn't want to deal with half-truths and giggles for answers. I told her I wanted someone who would communicate with me. I told her she had never tried to be honest, never tried to see my perspective and never tried to feel the slightest empathy for my position. Then I said goodbye.

Five hours later I got a comment from her. She said okay fine you can let go. Sorry if I hurt you. I hope we can be friends, but not now, leave me alone now. I want to forget. Okay so I paraphrased a bit, but that's the basic idea.

A couple nights after that, her friend Jhen popped up on YM. I had actually blocked her because she was the source of a lot of the trouble, but when I saw her come online I figured I'd unblock her and see if she had anything to say. She did. She said she wanted me to forgive her, that Annie was there with her. I asked questions only Annie would know the answer to, and sure enough Annie was there as well. We chatted for about 15 minutes. She said she wanted to be friends, that she wanted me to get to know her again, that she missed and cared about me.

Remember the part about the naive little idiot?

Even though I only agreed to get to know her again, to be her friend, I still felt very strongly about doing just that. I wanted to be her friend, as I had from the beginning. It took little time, however, before I realized she had no intentions of actually being my friend. She did not reply to any message I sent her. She did not reply to any comment I sent her. She did not talk to me in chat unless I asked her a question. Even then it was a one word answer. It's ok, I thought... she's busy. Of course, Wesley gets 2 or 3 messages from her per day, but you know... she's just busy. She talks to him frequently in chat, but she's just busy.

She's missing from chat for 3 days, and takes the time to log on and send him a message saying how she missed him and muah and all that crap. That tore it. If nothing else, I would be better off not knowing how unwanted I was. My friendster dropped from the small number of 6 friends, to the smaller number of 2. I only left Sheryl and Laarmie.

Now there's something twisted. I'd met Sheryl a couple days after I met Annie. She found me through Annie's friendster page and requested an add. Well sure, thought I, an insanely cute Asian girl? Why not?. Well... Annie asked me to be her semi-sorta-quasi-kinda boyfriend roughly eight hours after Sheryl asked me to be her entirely completely absolutey no wishy-washiness about it boyfriend. In retrospect, I could have simply said "no" to both of them rather than remain silent to either. Sheryl decided that since Annie liked me, Annie should have me. Then there was everything complicated with Annie and it may have harmed my friendship with Sheryl. I could have said yes to Sheryl. I did not know at the time, but she is quite the fun person to chat with. She always makes me smile or laugh, she wants me to be happy so she'll try to help me out in any way (even trying to nudge Annie to talk to me when things were messy).

That's not even the craziest part of my February. Yes, I was asked by both girls either at the tail end of March or on February first. Now by the tail end of February, four weeks, I imagine Sheryl will have stopped talking to me as well. Mind, Sheryl does have something to do with the crazier part of February, but I think even crazier still is Laarmie. But she is a story for another post. I'm about to konk...

zzzZZZZzzzz

1. Pick 15 of your favourite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions!
6. Bonus points for correctly guessing which character said it!

1) "You seem to have upset the delicate internal balance of my housekeeper."
2) "Actually, sir, it's because hot air rises, counteracting the gravitational forces of... witchcraft."
3) "No, now that she's a killer woman, we ought to be bringing her tea and dumplings."
4) "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means "no"." (easy hehe)
5) "Ok, but just from here on in, everything would just be alot easier if you stayed a girl."
6) "I have introduced myself. You have introduced yourself. This is a very good conversation."
7) "What the Schnitzel?"
8) "It is better to die like a tiger, than to live like a pussy." (so many great quotes from this movie!)
9) "Christ! what are you? 15? My God man! You gotta be gettin' that young stuff! The young stuff is the best stuff in the world. Your jail bait, their jail bait. You turn sixteen and your looking at three to five"
10) "The captain has been so good to us... Please, Ofelia, call him father. It's just a word, Ofelia, just a word"
11) "Oh, I swim pretty girl... Pr-Pretty *good*, pretty good. Sw... Good. Swim good. Pretty good. I swim pretty good."
12) "I... I promised a friend I would say hello to you today."
13) "Then we will fight in the shade."
14) "Did I love him like a son? Or did I misuse him for my own purposes?"
15) "Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?"

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
Result: Eleutherodactylus ventrilineatus

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
Result: to be enthusiastic about.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
Result: http://www.flickr.com/photos/22838793@N04/2259477243

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, then post the result.

( here be the frogs )

Oddly, it doesn't really look much like any of my CD art...

The Mandarin class I am joining... my first class is Wednesday. My first quiz...is Wednesday. I've still got the books from summer, so when I got home I logged onto MSN and asked Jenny, a random Chinese girl who I met through my Australian friend Cilla, if she would help me with it. She said sure, as long as she didn't have to type in characters! HA! So I flipped through the pages to see what the quiz was on, then I spent an hour or so practicing with her. I think she is a bit surprised to find someone who is actually interested in her language, as she and most of her friends are more interested in Japanese. Today I will go over the quiz sections again, and tomorrow I will take the flashcards I'd made and practice while on the bus.

After I posted the previous entry, spinninghead gave me a book she'd found for free. It's in Chinese, but I'm not sure if it is Traditional or Simplified. I will find out and add it to my other two books that are in full Chinese.

After all that... Sheryl logged on YM and we talked for a couple hours. I eventually decided to pick a serious topic and we talked a bit longer. I will say, however, that next time I see her online, I will wait until she decides to send me a hello.

As for today:

* I will be reading Crane's "The Open Boat" before throwing/piecing together a 5ish page rough draft essay for tomorrow's AmeriLit class.

* I will study for the Mandarin quiz briefly as well as studying the Simplified characters, so when the class gets to that, I'll be ready this time. Also, if Jenny logs onto MSN before I go to bed, I may have a small conversation with her.

* I have a lot of Korean studying to do. I need to get the alphabet down SOON! I will also make flashcards up to where we are with vocab. Also, I will be studying the topic markers, subject marks, honorifics, etc.

* Should I have some free time, I will work on Part 1 of The Incongruent Apostrophe and Dash.

At roughly 3:30 am I checked the time for the last prior to my descent to a strange dreamworld. I can't recall what I was dreaming, exactly, but it was kinda weird. Anyway, I woke before my alarm, probably around 7:15, and rolled one way and another the way I had during the several interruptions I'd had. I finally decided to check the time, it was 7:25, five minutes before my alarm was to sound.

I rolled around a bit more before finally pulling myself out of bed. I checked all of my online social networks, made some posts, checked my emails, etc. Nothing truly exciting at the time, so I fixed breakfast and headed out on my bicycle for school. My first ride since probably September or earlier felt pretty good, I must say. I got to campus, locked the bike, and headed to class. I was able to read most of the required texts for Lit class, but I really only had comments on "Mrs. Spring Fragrance", which was written by a half-Chinese lady. So far, I've had three topics for writing my first paper: Any thoughts?

A - The use of language depicting the "Negro" dialects of the south, particularly in Twain's writings, with special attention to how a "white" dialect may read on paper... like, y'know?
B - The use of subtle language to show a devolution of sanity in Charlote Perkins Gilman's "The Yellow Wall-paper", as well as the slow rise in language that attacks the scientifically accepted methods of the time.
C - Sui Sun Far's various styles of depicting character in "Mrs. Spring Fragrance", as well as touching the social norms in the States as compared to China, and the ironic political statements being made within the text. I believe I could also touch upon Lisa See's "Snowflower and the Secret Fan" for some support.

In "Reader Responses", I've written a single page as a response to topic A and B, but anyone who knows me reasonably well knows that I say I'm all about Asia, so topic C is right there where I want to be.

Anyway, after I half-slept through class discusson on Edith Wharton, despite rather enjoying "Souls Belated", and offering a comment or two, I woke up once the discussion turned to Far's piece. I, thankfully, had first pick at making a comment, and I went all into it. I noted the language used in various places, the way titles are used, and English vs. Americanized names and the like, and as an immediate response to mine, one of the three Asian girls decided it was her turn:

"I want to respond to that. Coming from that culture, I couldn't agree with you more..."

Why is it that I find praise of this type far more fulfilling from an Asian than I would otherwise if some random other classmate had said "I agree with you completely"? I mean, aside from the fact she has first-hand knowledge of the topic which I claimed, on some level, to understand? This was Event #2 in my "Remember Asia" day. Even #1 was realizing I had to read a Chinese-English story for American Lit class.

After class I spoke with this lady, Yer/Yur/Yir?, briefly before her next class, then went to my professor's office and asked if I may change my topic to write about "Mrs. Spring Fragrance". She said that was okay, and I said I wasn't entirely sure if I was going to do that because I like to play, and she quite appreciated the comment, I think, but moreso when I told her what my first essay from a year ago had been on: Faulkner's character of Abner Snopes (The All-American Hero!). She asked if I would bring to her a copy so she can photocopy it and share it with the class, for those that had not yet experienced the joy of "responding to literature" in the fashion we will be doing in the class.

During my lunch break, I went to the cafeteria as per usual and purchased a slice of pizza. The ladies that work the lunchroom are Asian, and today I decided I simply must find out what kind of Asian. There was nobody in my line, so I asked.. Huong is her name.. she is Vietnamese. She does not seem to be too old, perhaps near my own age, if not slightly older. Anyway, I told her I took Vietnamese and she asked if I took it on that campus and I said no I took it elsewhere. Someone else got in the line at that point, so I went to sit down. As I was pulling out my Korean book, a younger Chinese fella took a seat at my table, and we spent my entire lunch talking about languages. It turns out he is taking the Mandarin course at Sac City, and is a speaker of Cantonese. We spoke about the history of a few of the languages, and also of Vietnamese (as it has its history in Cantonese). I decided at that point that I would speak briefly with Huong before I went on to my piano class, and so I did. Remember Asia #3.

We have assigned seats in piano class, and it just so happens I am assigned to sit next to a Hmuong. That's not exactly enough for RA#4, so moving on... :P

Went back to my bicycle, unlocked it and headed to Sac City. I noticed before, but since I'd only done that particular ride twice, it hadn't stuck... I ride by the biggest Asian market in the area, and through areas that have nothing but Asian stores and restaurants.

I get to Sac City, then I head all over campus trying to find out information. First I spoke to a counselor concerning what I need in order to transfer to a CSU with an English major, then I learned that several of the classes can be Asian-centric. Then, once I got to my Korean class, the girl who sits behind me asked me if my name was David.

Well, yes. It is.

She was in the Mandarin course I'd taken last summer. She dropped after the first week. Such an impression I must have made. (I'd consider the above few thoughts as Remember Asia #4)

After Korean class, I went to find the Mandarin 401 room, and lo and behold, a young lady I have yet to mention in blogs was there. Perhaps a little back up?

When school started, I had a dance class on M & W night. It got out at 8:20, and sometimes I'd talk, sometimes I'd rush out, sometimes I'd wait, etc. No matter what time I eventually arrived at light rail, this Chinese lady was always in the same car as I was. Thing is, that ranged from 8:30, 9:00 or 9:30. For us to be in the same care on the same train at the same time every single day on the way home from class...

Anyway, I finally spoke to her, and we talked about the language. She seemed really excited to speak with someone who actually cared about her culture. I did not get her name, and I expected not to see her since I dropped my dance class shortly thereafter.

Until she showed up leaving the classroom right next to the Mandarin classroom. She's in the classroom next door, right before the Mandarin course begins. o.O? I consider that insanely Remember Asia #5.

When I arrive home, I have two comments (and a message) on my friendster from Sheryl, a girl in the Philippines. The more I communicate with her, the more I adore her. I may never fall in love with that girl but I will always love her. I expect she will be one of my stronger friendships in time.

I can't forget... last night I had a brief phone call from Yang, a girl presently working in Hong Kong. On Friday night/Saturday morning, I spoke with Rae, from Singapore, for 7-9 hours. Some was voice chat, some was typing, but she was able to view my [roommate's] webcam through the entire conversation.

Tomorrow I have a few places to go, and a 5 page rough draft to write. I am presently hungry, tired, a bit sticky from cycling everywhere today (25+ miles, not too far, but on muscles unused). I have very strong doubt that I will ever have a more Asian day until I have a full day of "Asian Art" / "Asian Humanities" / "Asian Lit" classes and Mandarin TV.